How is your well-being, my friend? Are you kind to yourself? Research suggests that people who are self-compassionate or kind to themselves experience many benefits (Neff, 2009; Allen & Leary, 2010; Zessin, Dickhauser, & Garbade, 2015). They have greater life satisfaction, less anxiety and depression, greater mindfulness, and more compassion for others. Individuals experiencing stress and challenge (i.e., infant and early childhood brain architects, K-12 teachers, and parents) exposed to self-compassion strategies demonstrate higher levels of well-being, such as optimism, positive affect, and personal initiative. When we practice self-compassion, we feel more confident and view ourselves more positively. Be kind to yourself to have increased motivation, improved productivity, better relationships, and better physical health. 

But why is being kind to ourselves so hard? Do you find yourself being self-critical sometimes? That's okay, my friend. It's natural and healthy to experience a wide range of thoughts and feelings, including less pleasant ones like unhappiness, disappointment, or guilt. There are no right and wrong thoughts; some serve one well while others do not.

Are you worried that being kind to yourself is self-indulgent? That is a common concern, but research shows that being too self-compassionate will NOT undermine motivation. Instead, people who practice self-compassion tend to have the greater personal initiative to make needed changes and are likelier to take on new challenges (Zessin, Dickhauser, & Garbade, 2015).

Are you convinced yet?! Let’s go for it! Treating oneself kindly can look like taking time and space to give oneself a break emotionally. Or, it can look like mental acts of self-kindness, such as engaging in self-talk that is positive, encouraging, and forgiving (Allen & Leary, 2010). Learning to turn negative thinking into positive thinking takes time and practice as one creates a new habit. One positive self-talk exercise you can do to help increase your self-compassion is the practice of reframing your inner conversation or “quieting your inner critic.” This exercise should be repeated over several weeks to eventually form the blueprint for changing how one may relate to oneself long-term.

1. First, notice when you are being self-critical. Become aware of your inner dialogues. Begin to notice when you say or think things to yourself, such as “I can’t,” “I don’t know,” “This is too hard for me,” or “I’m not good at it.”
2. Second, pay attention to both your inner speech and tone. Note the language or phrases you use when talking with yourself, but also be aware of the tone. Do you sound kind and loving? Or do you sound judgmental? Harsh? Or, like a snappy, irritable teen?
3. Third, soften your critical voice from judgment to compassion. Now that you have identified the message and tone,  ease or change it to one of kindness.

Always remember to stand in a friend’s shoes. Relate to yourself as you would relate to a friend. Steps 1, 2, and 3 are more accessible and productive when we do this. If a friend said to us, "This is so hard, I just can't get it." We would never say, "You are right, Sally; it’s too hard for you. You’ll never get it." Instead, we would encourage our friend Sally by saying something like, "Sure you can, Sally. With some more practice, you will get it!" Be kind to yourself, and talk to yourself like you would to a friend.

Learning to turn negative thinking into positive thinking takes time and practice; you are creating a new habit. One way to set yourself on a positive path is to practice "outside" of the moment. Then, the next time you have a negative thought, you will have a positive thought prepared and ready as a substitution. Following are some common self-critical phrases and sample positive statements or reframes. These include ideas shared by educators who have participated in our various professional developments and presentations. Use these as examples to support you in quieting your inner critic.  Try brainstorming additional positive phrases, and/or reach out to us for even more examples.  Try substituting these scripts to replace your negative or self-critical talk.

Sample Reframing for Positive Thinking Ideas

Use your friends! Brainstorm with a friend or colleague for additional practice. Create positive statements to replace the following: I don't know how. I'm too old, or I'm too young, and I'm not ready. Do you have any other examples of negative self-talk you want to create a reframe or positive script for? Lean on your friend to help you be kind to yourself. Practice self-compassion as one way to nurture your well-being. You just may feel more optimistic, motivated, and positive. Perhaps you will have improved productivity, better relationships, and improved physical health. Most importantly, by being self-compassionate, you will have a new friend, YOU!

Reach out for more ideas!  Share your email and subscribe below to get  20+ Reframing for Positive Thinking Ideas FREE. ​ We will email you if we update the resource or develop other great tips about self-compassion. 

​Light Up Your Brain!
Get your new year off to a good start. Go for a walk and share some well wishes.

Offer a secret or undercover "well-wish" to those that you pass by. This is a simple phrase of loving-kindness in your head, such as “May you have a peaceful day.”  Or, how about “Have a healthy and happy day/New Year!” Move onto the next person you see and repeat.  Can you share five well-wishes each day? Allow yourself to enjoy the practice of sharing stealth kindness, or dropping “kindness bombs," on the other people you see. You are sure to find your mood lifting as you offer your stealth well-wishes. You can also try this at the grocery store or at work, walking down the hallway.  

Did you know that kindness creates positive changes in the brain? It boosts the chemicals serotonin and dopamine.  And, endorphins can be released. These neurotransmitters in the brain give you feelings of satisfaction and well-being. They cause the pleasure/reward center of your brain to light up.  Regularly performing kindness behaviors improves mood and can enhance thinking skills such as creativity and flexibility. Research has shown that “agents” or givers of kindness demonstrate increases in self-esteem, empathy, and compassion. They also become more resilient, both psychologically and physically. Important physiological impacts include decreased blood pressure and decreased cortisol (i.e. Post, 2005; Mayo Clinic 2020). 

And, kindness is a two-for!! It has benefits both the giver and the receiver. So light up your brain while wishing someone else well. Let’s get our new year off to a great start!
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Happy New Year to you…. We wish you a healthy and bright brain in 2023!

Dr. Amit Sood at the Mayo Clinic works in the field of positive psychology. His research shows that up to 50% of our happiness depends on our conscious choices that, with time, become enduring habits. Most material gains, on the other hand, provide happiness only for a short time because of our tendency to quickly discount the good and rearrange our expectations. The afterglow of " happiness" from purchasing a shiny new car or  those cool new shoes is fleeting. We end up looking for another happiness fix.

Dr. Sood's research also found that the happiest people in our society are the young children and the elderly. Children's happiness centers on feeling loved, having pleasant immersive experiences, and not spending time overthinking--aka getting caught up in negative ruminations.  Think about a familiar two or three-year old you know... It's all about the process and not the product. The joy is in the doing! Just like the kiddo pictured here. Young children are immersed in the experience without wondering how it will turn out or what others will think about their "work." 

At the other end of the age continuum, elderly gain wisdom as they age. A mature perspective generally includes lower expectations and concern about other peoples'  judgements, as well as a focus on savoring experiences and relationships.  They recapture a sense of that younger child who immersed themselves in the experience --though maybe without making such a mess..

So, choose happiness today. Make it an enduring habit. Reconnect with your inner toddler. Find something you enjoy doing and really do it! Be present. Enjoy the "process" without worrying how it will turn out or what others with say or think.  Have more immersive and joyful experiences.  What will that be for you?  Joyful movement? Time with a loved one?  An artistic endeavor (even finger painting?) Go get your happy on!

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1. The lure of looking and feeling young for as long as humanly possible is a bit of an obsession in many modern cultures. Beauty products that promise to erase wrinkles, laser treatments that remove signs of sun damage, and full-on invasive surgical procedures that rewind the hands of time are just a few examples of how infatuated we are in avoiding aging. A multitude of industries capitalize on this preoccupation with the fountain of youth and generate revenues in the multi-billion dollars. In fact, researchers predict that the global market for anti-aging products will reach a staggering $47.8 billion dollars by 2027. 

And hey, this is a judgment-free zone. Whatever you want to do to promote your health and wellbeing is entirely your business! But, if you REALLY want to keep the effects of aging in check and look and feel your absolute best, you may want to look right here  and book yourself into a regular, steady, consistent cadence with a movement practice at Uplift Pilates and Wellness.
Pilates is a potent form of movement that has significantly positive impacts on our bodies, minds, and spirits. Those who regularly practice Pilates report feeling stronger, leaner, taller, more confident, less stressed, and fully energized. It makes people feel GOOD and it also has benefits that are specifically tied to this idea of looking and feeling younger, longer. Here’s how:
 
5 Ways Pilates Keeps You Feeling Younger, Longer
1. Increased Energy and Stamina  As our bodies age, we tend to run out of steam more quickly. We may crash in the late afternoon, be called to our beds for a quick power nap every single day, or just feel sluggish far more frequently than we’d like. Pilates is the ideal antidote.

2. Resilience and Increased Recovery  Have you ever noticed that kids will get a cold one day and seem pretty much completely symptom free within a day or two? Young bodies bounce back really quickly. As we age, we can hold onto that resilience against illness with a regular movement practice. And when we do get sick, a movement practice helps us recover more quickly. 

3. Balance and Posture Improvements  
A measurable and physically noticeable change that can occur in one’s body with a regular Pilates practice is an improvement in the person’s posture. In fact, in separate scientific studies, Pilates was found to improve the postural alignment of participating middle aged women as well as children aged 5-6 years old! We’ve all seen the stereotypical image of an older person hunched over a cane. With Pilates, you can avoid these undesirable changes to your posture as you age. Another risk we all face as we age is a degradation of balance, leading to falls which can cause serious injury. Pilates is very effective at helping a person maintain or even improve their balance and coordination. 

4. Increased Agility and Range of Motion  
One of the first things people notice when their bodies age is that the body is not as flexible or agile as it was in youth. Through intentional, slow, and highly targeted movements, Pilates can help you increase your flexibility and thus, range of motion. 

5. Reduced Pain, Tension, and Stress  
Pain, tension, and stress can be absolutely devastating to our sense of well being and ability to enjoy and participate in our lives fully. Pain, especially if it is chronic in nature, can be especially difficult to treat without pharmaceutical intervention. Pilates is frequently recommended as a therapeutic modality to ease, control, and even prevent pain. The movements that help our bodies heal from pain have similar benefits in terms of easing tension and stress. 

If you are interested in supporting your body at every age, you can do so gracefully with the help of Pilates. We have a special offer exclusively for new clients. Check it out here​  and come look and feel your best at Uplift Pilates and Wellness.